Anxiety

Last night I had my first true anxiety attack.

It was a nightmare.
Except of course, that I was awake.

So I planned to sleep early and wake up early and finish like 50% of the stuff I didn't read yet. Paper was scheduled for 9am.
And I was pretty sleepy.

And then I wasted some time, by the time I decided to fall asleep it was 1.
Or maybe I didn't.
At 2 I woke up to palpitations, so much difficulty breathing (practically struggling to breathe), sweating, dry coughing (?!), tossing and turning, and my stomach felt bad and I felt dry, thirsty. And it just got worse when I decided to concentrate on sleeping.
Opened my eyes, managed to bring it down by like 10%, but when I closed my eyes it went to a worse state.
And it's not like I had any energy to stay up, I was exhausted. 

Tried to say some prayers, didn't work. Just didn't work.

Then I started to worry about not being able to wake up and finish the other 50%.
I had initially planned to wake up at 5.

Eventually, only god knows how, I managed to fall asleep - and that too after making certain changes in my situation, changed my clothes, the room temperature, drank tons of water and even decided to think happy thoughts like Oh I don't care bout tomorrow!!

And I only woke up to mom's wake up call at 6.

God knows how, really, but I fell asleep again after that without realising it, til about 8.10.

Realised that I have to report for the exam at 8.30.

So it was hell, unprepared and rushing.

And when I don't have breakfast, I get more anxious. Like maybe I might die halfway through the paper (since I'm so hungry nowadays)

But I passed alright. Lucky me.